Healthy Boundaries: Pillars of True Friendship
Healthy boundaries in friendship can be defined by a series of criteria that help preserve self-respect and independence while allowing close relationships to develop. First, a healthy friendship is characterized by the ability to offer constructive criticism and guidance without resorting to insults. As one source states: "True friends will instruct, advise, and criticize each other while avoiding insults. Friendly sternness is the opposite of flattery; however, the Ciceroan Lelii knows how to differentiate between a flattering friend and a true one..." (source: link txt).Second, an important characteristic of healthy boundaries is that friendship is not subservient to material or functional obligations. Friends should not become interchangeable benefactors, where help (such as financial support or performing household duties) is the measure of the authenticity of the relationship. This is reflected in the following excerpt: "Of course, a friend, if needed, will give us money, take us out during illness, protect us from enemies, help our widow and children. But friendship is not about that. These are rather hindrances. … Friendship is completely free from the 'need to be needed'" (source: link txt).Moreover, healthy boundaries imply that true friendship is not subject to every aspect of life or to tests from external circumstances. Relationships are built on the sharing of core life values and the confidence that a friend remains unchanged even when external circumstances shift. This is expressed in the thought: "We are not interested in the affairs of friends. Unlike in romantic love, friendship is not inquisitive. We make a friend without knowing whether he is married or where he serves. ... By its very nature, friendship is not interested in our body or our 'extended body'" (source: link txt).In conclusion, healthy boundaries in friendship are evident when both friends respect each other’s personal space and individuality, can speak the truth while providing support and understanding. Criticism always remains constructive and does not devolve into rudeness, and mutual assistance is voluntary, never turning into an obligation that undermines personal freedom.