Healing Through Creative Transformation
The feeling of hatred toward the past may arise when negative, not fully processed experiences continue to affect our lives, even though in the present we feel love and acceptance of ourselves. This contradiction occurs when our memory still retains "unlived" moments—grievances, traumas, or disappointments that have never been transformed through a creative reinterpreting act capable of giving the past new meaning.
For example, as noted in one source, "There are things in our past that remain unlived; they were once committed or experienced, but not lived through. ... And even if we may not remember that person or the circumstances in which these feelings were born, they are still within us. And no matter what we go through or who we become—they poison our very existence at its root" (source: link txt). This emphasizes that unresolved events of the past continue to influence us, remaining emotionally relevant in the present.
At the same time, self-love in the present provides us with the resources to transform and overcome these negative experiences. If we are able to recognize the value of who we are now, it offers us the opportunity to creatively reinterpret the past. In another source it is stated, "Memory is not the preservation or restoration of our past, but always a new, always transformed past. Memory has a creative character" (source: link txt). In other words, an active, creative attitude toward the past is a means to transform it from a source of pain into something that helps us grow and move toward the future.
It is also important to understand that life cannot be based on negative emotions. As one text puts it, "One cannot live with a negative feeling, a feeling of hatred, anger, or revenge. ... Our love should always be stronger than our hatred" (source: link txt). This statement underlines that the key to healing and moving forward lies in replacing negative energy with love for ourselves and for life. Thus, if you feel that negative memories overshadow your present, it is beneficial to seek ways to transform them through creative and constructive actions aimed at strengthening your own self.
In summary, the contradictory feelings—self-love in the present and hatred toward the past—arise from unresolved emotions stuck in memory. They can be managed through the creative reinterpretation of one’s history, the acceptance of complex experiences, and the replacement of negativity with an active desire to realign the past in support of your current life position.
Supporting citation(s):
"There are things in our past that remain unlived; they were once committed or experienced, but not lived through. ... and they poison our very existence at its root" (source: link txt)
"Memory is not the preservation or restoration of our past, but always a new, always transformed past. Memory has a creative character" (source: link txt)
"One cannot live with a negative feeling, a feeling of hatred, anger, or revenge. ... Our love should always be stronger than our hatred" (source: link txt)