The Price of Love: How Financial Considerations Shape Modern Relations
Material security plays a dual role in choosing a partner in modern relationships. On one hand, even when the selection of a partner is primarily based on feelings, material considerations still exert an influence. For instance, as noted, “History knows various ways to choose future spouses: by the will of parents, by financial calculation, by various everyday or prestige considerations, by chance, or by love. Nowadays, it is more common to marry for love—though not without calculation. A tenth-grade girl explained to me her view on marriage: she herself does not particularly seek exceptional material well-being, but she wants her future children not to live in poverty. ‘Imagine that—her son asks for ten kopecks for a movie, and his mother says, “You’d better stay home and read a book,” because she doesn’t even have ten kopecks for his movie!’ A dreadful fantasy. However, after explaining all this, the girl suddenly waved her hand and added, ‘Well, maybe I’ll change my mind and get married anyway.’” (source: link txt)On the other hand, the financial factor enters family relationships even during the initial stages of a couple’s formation. Often, financial dependency on one’s parents and the desire to meet a certain standard of living (such as the aspiration to own modern gadgets or cars) force young people to consider not only the future partner’s financial status but also the conditions in which they will live. Thus, one example notes: “Some, not very affluent, parents, in order not to fall behind others, have to work several jobs—even under-eat... And more often than not, they do not want to scrimp to provide everything. Another scandal, a hysterical outburst—and ‘relatives will burst out of their skin’ but will still provide for their beloved child. Naturally, the financial factor powerfully binds the young couple to their parents, both figuratively and literally. As a result, many couples never learn to live independently. They do not know what it means to struggle for existence.” (source: link txt)Additionally, the opinions and experiences of those around also influence the choice of a partner. When material security is perceived as a condition of stability and safety, it creates the expectation that a partner should possess not only romantic potential but also financial stability. In one expression it is stated: “There is no need for a yacht with tax sanctions, a bank account that could lead to criminal charges, or a hundred temporary beauties, each capable of draining all your blood in one go. What is needed is one beauty for a lifetime, so that you can grow old together. So that she remains beautiful to you even in old age. Others will sting him with poisonous kisses. But both will inevitably crawl into the pockets of their victim.” (source: link txt)Thus, material security acts as a factor that consolidates expectations of safety, stability, and social status. At the same time, it can create pressure when the financial realities of the family and society affect a couple’s independence. This leads to a situation where, even if love forms the basis of a relationship, material considerations—whether due to parental pressure or the expectation of future prosperity for children—play a significant role in choosing a partner.