To establish contact with a person inclined toward pompous behavior (note that such behavior can often be a superficial mask hiding deeper issues), one should avoid abrupt and intrusive attempts to force them to change their manner of communication.

Nurturing Genuine Change Through Patience and Compassion

To establish contact with a person inclined toward pompous behavior (note that such behavior can often be a superficial mask hiding deeper issues), one should avoid abrupt and intrusive attempts to force them to change their manner of communication. Instead, it is recommended to show patience and create conditions in which the person will eventually come to understand the need for change. For example, one source states:

"You can scold him, set an example, you can force him to change his behavior.

And it might be beneficial for that person if you set some boundaries for him; but will it benefit you?

Won't you harm your own soul? Wouldn't it be better for you to endure, to submit, and wait until he understands on his own? Then it will be more lasting, because as long as you hold him, he will cling, but as soon as you loosen your grip, he will revert to his former ways. And if he comes to understand on his own, that is entirely different."
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This excerpt emphasizes that external coercion often leads only to temporary changes, while true transformation occurs when the person becomes aware of the need for change on their own.

Another important element is the development of compassion and the effort to soften one’s own heart. This not only helps one approach the situation with understanding and tolerance but also creates an atmosphere in which the person feels supported and finds the opportunity for self-reflection:

"And one must always strive for mercy, try to soften one’s heart. Suppose, for instance, that I am a brutal, cruel, rough person. How do I change myself? Only through constant exercise of the heart, continuously training myself in kindness, always striving to do good for all people, indiscriminately..."
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Thus, the key strategies are:

1. Patience and willingness to listen rather than immediately delivering harsh criticism. Forced pressure might only reinforce the habit of displaying an external mask that conceals true feelings.
2. Establishing a constructive dialogue where the focus is not so much on what is said but on how it is conveyed. An attitude of goodwill and understanding can promote deeper change.
3. Leading by example and cultivating compassion. By working on oneself, one can exert a positive influence on another and create an atmosphere in which a person with pompous behavior feels the need for internal change.

Such an approach not only helps in establishing contact but also creates a long-term foundation for altering one’s manner of communication, where the changes stem not from external coercion but from internal transformation.