The Reserved Facade and Warm Embrace
Fatherly feelings often turn out to be less obvious, as fathers are expected to maintain a strict, restrained stance. A man in the role of a father is compelled to adhere to high standards of behavior, where the expression of emotions is confined within certain limits, creating an impression that may seem confusing or even cold. For example, one source states: "But, remarkably, even those around him, whether on the same level or superior, accepted this shade of internal inequality in the relationship as proper. A father never 'allowed himself' what would naturally be permissible with equals... Therefore, the father was never, in proportion to equality, delicate, generous, magnanimous, and expansive..." (source: link txt).Such restraint is explained by societal expectations of the male role: a father strives not to express his feelings too openly, even if contradictory emotions rage within him. This sometimes results in his love and affection remaining "offstage," understood only through his actions rather than overt emotional communication. In another example, situations are described in which a father's emotional expression is permitted only in a forced context, such as when a son tries to share his feelings and the father does not allow him to finish his confession (source: link txt).In contrast, maternal feelings are traditionally perceived as more open and warm. Mothers unconditionally express their love, vividly conveyed through emotional descriptions in which a mother's presence is associated with tenderness, comfort, and warmth. For example, it is said: "Forgetting everything: the ubiquitous, all-pervading smell of bleach; the teacher and the nannies... – we rush headlong towards the dearest being in the world – our MOM! She embraces us and holds us tight, enveloping us with gentle warmth,..." (source: link txt).This emphasizes how maternal love becomes a source of emotional support for children.Thus, this difference in the expression of feelings is reflected in family relationships: on one hand, the restrained, almost conditional love of the father may lead to misunderstandings and is not always perceived as deeply intimate; on the other hand, the openness and warmth of maternal feelings create a strong emotional bond within the family. Each of these types of expressions contributes uniquely to family dynamics, allowing balance and harmony in relationships despite external differences.Supporting citation(s):"But, remarkably, even those around him, who were equal or even superior in status, accepted this shade of internal inequality in the relationship as appropriate. A father never ‘allowed himself’ what would naturally be permitted with equals ... Therefore, the father was never, in proportion to equality, delicate, generous, magnanimous, and broad, unless, outraged by apparent falsehood or injustice, he displayed a brief but disproportionate burst of anger. However, neither the first nor the second elicited any objections." (source: link txt)"His love remained unshaken even when his son said to him: I cannot wait for the moment of your death to start living. Let’s agree: die for me, give me that share of wealth I would receive after your physical death, agree that you are no more... But have you noticed that when he wishes to utter his confession before his father, the father does not let him finish his last words." (source: link txt)"Forgetting everything: the ubiquitous, all-pervading smell of bleach; the teacher and the nannies, with their modest arsenal of words and grips; quarrels and joys, disappointments and admonitions, encouragements and praises – we rush headlong towards the dearest being in the world – our MOM! She embraces us and holds us close, showering us with gentle warmth, and she herself cries with us, pressed against her dress like puppies... Oh, wonder of motherhood!" (source: link txt)