Fostering Understanding Through Open Dialogue
The best approach in such a situation is to first try to understand the reasons behind the negative remarks, and then calmly discuss the situation with the person who is spreading such information. It is possible that the negativity is a way to hide their own concerns or misunderstandings, which can be resolved through open dialogue. Discussing feelings and problems is what helps to ease tension and prevent further escalation of the conflict. For example, one author writes: "It is not uncommon for people who experience negative emotions toward their loved ones to try to hide them instead of discussing and resolving the conflict. This leads to the emergence of hidden hostility, which can erupt into aggression, especially when it comes to relatives. Discussing one's feelings and problems helps reduce tension and improve relationships." (source: link txt, page: 45)It is also important to express your feelings in a constructive manner so as not to resort to retaliatory accusations that only worsen the situation. One approach is the use of so-called "I-statements," which allow you to calmly convey how another person's actions affect you without crossing the boundaries of personal attacks. As stated in another recommendation: "Expressing feelings is an important part of family communication. The safe expression of any, especially negative, feelings can be achieved in the form of I-statements. This allows you to talk about your feelings without accusing or threatening others." (source: link txt, page: 57)Thus, try to establish a dialogue in which you calmly and honestly share your feelings without blaming the other person, but rather by trying to understand their motives and find a way to resolve the situation. This approach will allow you to maintain respect for yourself and your loved ones, as well as reduce the likelihood of further conflict escalation.