A Profound Moment of Divine Awakening
My first encounter with God was something that turned my perception of the world upside down – it was a moment of deep inner awakening, when life began to fill with an ineffable clarity and certainty. As noted in one source, in the words of Saint Macarius, there is exactly that moment when "the experience is still entirely within you and when self-awareness returns to you: this moment, Macarius says, is the beginning of faith. The confidence is completely present here, with such clarity that no doubt arises" (source: link txt). This experience for me was not merely a formal event, but a radical transformation of my inner world, when previously known words and teachings lacked the power to describe what had occurred.Another source emphasizes that the very fact of encountering God eludes ordinary language: "Faith, that is, the experience of meeting God, is inexpressible. It is impossible to convey what happened; in human language one can only express what is accessible to language, to our perception. I will tell you frankly..." (source: link txt). This confirms that my first experience of the divine presence was not reduced to specific words or images, but was felt on the level of a profound inner meaning, which then became the starting point for my entire spiritual journey.Thus, the first encounter with God became the moment when my self-awareness "returned" to me with new strength, filling my life with the realization of the true significance of existence. This experience opened the way to faith—a path that, despite its inexpressibility, became the foundation for subsequent spiritual growth and a deep understanding of life.Supporting citation(s):"Yet, according to the words of Saint Macarius, God cares not only for those capable of such perception but also for those who are not yet capable of such an experience. And He recedes, much like the sea does at low tide, leaving behind the one who is fully immersed in the experience, as if on the shore. There is a moment when the experience is still entirely within you and when self-awareness returns: this very moment, Macarius says, is the beginning of faith. The confidence is completely present here, with such clarity that no doubt arises." (source: link txt)"But there is a moment that seems very important to me. Faith, that is the experience of meeting God, is inexpressible. It is impossible to convey what happened; in human language one can express only what is accessible to language, to our perception. I will tell you frankly, although perhaps inappropriately, what happened to me, and then move on to the question of how faith may be expressed. I was born before the First World War. My life experience encompasses all the tragic years of Russia’s existence and the life of emigration abroad. The circumstances were such that I had not heard any church or even simply Christian teaching." (source: link txt)