Emotional Chains: The Hidden Toll of Parental Dependency
Sometimes even the most passionate declarations of love can mask a deep emotional dependency on parental support. Many men, continuing to live with their parents, show an unwillingness to take a decisive step toward an independent life, a reluctance that manifests both emotionally and financially. This condition frequently arises from an unconscious infantilism, where an individual internally still perceives themselves as a child, incapable of taking on adult responsibilities.At the root of such dependency lies not only a fear of change but also the desire to preserve the atmosphere of care and security provided by the childhood home. The need for parental approval and the avoidance of responsibility in making independent decisions deter young people from creating their own independent family environment. This dynamic sharply contrasts with the need to build one’s own life from the ground up, which requires not only love but also decisive action, responsibility, and emotional maturity.Overcoming this barrier is an important step toward becoming a fully-fledged individual and a successful partner in a relationship. Maturity demands taking risks, finding one’s own path, and freeing oneself from the familiar environment—even if that entails temporary difficulties. Recognizing and addressing these internal barriers can facilitate the transformation from a child sheltered by parental support to a confident individual capable of building their own life and relationships.How can we explain a situation where a man who lives with his parents refuses to rent an apartment together despite his declarations of love?A man who continues living with his parents and refuses to secure his own housing, despite professing his love, may be experiencing an internal emotional dependency and lingering infantilism. This is evident in his ongoing feelings of insufficient independence, his unpreparedness to accept the responsibilities of adult life, and his inability to establish an independent family environment.For example, one text states:"There are cases where it seems that a son has seemingly broken away from his mother, but the mysterious connection with her continues, and he still exhibits the same youthful infantilism, albeit internal: he behaves as a person completely unprepared for life. Internally, his mother has never truly let him go into independent life. This manifests itself in that he is unable to assert himself as a man in any way. He is completely irresponsible, lacking in willpower, and emotionally he still feels 'under her,' under his mother..."(source: 1351_6753.txt)It is also noted that this dependency can manifest on a financial level:"This kind of dependency may manifest both financially (living with parents, receiving monetary or material support from them) and emotionally (the need to receive parental approval for one’s actions and decisions)."(source: 1351_6753.txt)It is important to note that such an attitude is frequently observed among young people who find it difficult to leave the familiar comfort of their home, where they feel cared for and secure. In one example, it is mentioned that young couples planning to start a life together often ponder: "I don't know if I should really leave here? After all, these are my mom and dad, this is my home. I don't want to, I can't leave my native home."(source: 1351_6753.txt)Thus, even if a man professes his feelings, his inability to take the step toward cohabitation may be linked to an emotional dependency on his parents, a lack of sufficient independence, and an unwillingness to accept adult responsibilities. These internal barriers prevent him from transitioning from a child reliant on parental support to a fully mature adult man capable of building an independent family life.Supporting citation(s):"There are cases where it seems that a son has seemingly broken away from his mother, but the mysterious connection with her continues, and he still exhibits the same youthful infantilism, albeit internal: he behaves as a person completely unprepared for life. Internally, his mother has never truly let him go into independent life. This manifests itself in that he is unable to assert himself as a man in any way. He is completely irresponsible, lacking in willpower, and emotionally he still feels 'under her,' under his mother..." (source: 1351_6753.txt)"I believe there are two main reasons. One is personal. A young man or woman, about to enter marriage, thinks something like: 'I don't know if I should really leave here? After all, these are my mom and dad, this is my home. I don't want to, I can't leave my native home.'" (source: 1351_6753.txt)