The Mask of Selfishness: Inner Wounds and External Accusations
Sometimes, when a person accuses others of selfishness, they themselves become a prisoner of their inner contradictions. A low level of emotional sensitivity and an inability to experience guilt can serve as the starting point for developing a defense mechanism in which one's own emotions are quickly transferred onto others. This approach becomes a method of avoiding the processing of painful internal feelings, where instead of looking within, the person searches outside their own consciousness for the culprits behind their dissatisfaction. Often, such patterns are accompanied by a deep sense of self-disdain: it is this internal rejection that forms the basis for the emergence of hidden resentment and anger, which is then relentlessly directed at those around them. Ultimately, this strategy—blaming others for selfishness—proves to be an attempt to compensate for one’s own feelings of unworthiness and to cope with inner pain by displaying external aggression. It is a reminder that behind external accusations often lie deep emotional wounds that require attention and sincere self-examination.
Why are some people inclined to excessively blame others for selfishness, and how is this related to their psychology?Some individuals excessively accuse others of selfishness not only because of objective differences in behavior, but also due to the peculiarities of their own psychology. In particular, this mechanism may be linked to an underdeveloped emotional sphere, manifested in low sensitivity and an inability to experience guilt. As noted in one source, “Such children are less sensitive and inclined to blame others. Therefore, they find it difficult to experience guilt.” (source: link txt). The lack of empathy and the tendency for rapid external blaming become a form of psychological defense: internal emotions and feelings of inadequacy are not processed properly, and instead, the individual begins to look for the source of their dissatisfaction in those around them.It is also important to consider that such behavior may be tied to internal contradictions, when a person experiences self-dislike. One source describes that a selfish individual may not even love themselves, which gives rise to ressentiment—a feeling of resentment and anger that often transforms into aggressive behavior towards others (source: link txt). Thus, excessively blaming others for selfishness can become a way to compensate for one’s own self-discontent and an attempt to cope with feelings of degradation by shifting the blame onto others.Supporting citation(s):“Such children are less sensitive and inclined to blame others. Therefore, they find it difficult to experience guilt.” (source: link txt)“A selfish person may not love themselves at all and may not forgive others for this lack of self-love, harboring ressentiment and being spiteful towards others because they dislike themselves... Excessive self-hatred leads to a deterioration of the individual’s well-being.” (source: link txt)