In today's world of mutual expectations and emotional openness, issues of trust play a key role in building healthy relationships.

The Fragility of Trust in Relationships

In today's world of mutual expectations and emotional openness, issues of trust play a key role in building healthy relationships. Relationships start to falter and internal conflicts arise when small disagreements grow into mutual accusations and every unspoken moment turns into a wound. This scenario intensifies when a partner begins to keep emotional "scorecards," turning every minor issue into a reason for conflict, which deepens misunderstanding and increases the distance between people.

In other cases, when negative feelings and hidden anger have been building up for years, a sudden outburst occurs, after which emotional chaos becomes the norm. The inability to cope with suppressed emotions often forces both partners to overreact, transforming periodic outbursts into a systematic crisis where doubts about reliability become a constant companion.

A particular challenge to trust arises when one partner has not fully recovered from past breakups. Unresolved wounds, like unhealed cuts, prevent one from fully immersing in new relationships, so that even the most sincere attempts become hostage to constant internal turmoil and doubt.

In summary, the feeling of unreliability in relationships is a multifaceted phenomenon that arises from constant emotional strain, accumulated grievances, and unresolved past conflicts. It is the ability to forgive, work on oneself, and openly discuss problems that makes it possible to create truly strong and harmonious relationships, where each side feels supported and confident about the future.

In what situations might a feeling of unreliability toward a partner arise?

A feeling of unreliability toward a partner can appear in several situations, when emotional wounds, mutual misunderstandings, and suppressed negative emotions accumulate over time and eventually surface.

Firstly, such a feeling arises if a partner starts keeping constant score and begins to reciprocate in response to any minor disagreement. As noted in one statement, “And if the Other begins to counteract with his own reckonings and scorecards, then the rupture will become uncontrollable and fierce. Moreover, the struggle is not for everyday gains, but for life — all or nothing. Even if the Other silently steps aside in sorrow, leaving his wounds defenseless, I will not be able to see or feel his inner pain, continuing to see only my own.” (source: link txt). Such behavior from a partner can evoke a sense of unreliability since any minor conflict becomes a trigger for heightened emotional distance and mutual accusations.

Secondly, a feeling of unreliability may emerge when negative aspects of one’s personality or the relationship are suppressed for a long time but eventually reach a critical point. In such a situation, overwhelming emotions burst out, and the partner finds themselves unable to control their negative reactions for an extended period. As stated: “When this critical point is reached, we are no longer able to suppress the negative reaction. Suddenly we find ourselves in a situation where, for days, months, or years, we experience unpleasant feelings toward our partner.” (source: link txt). This state is an indicator of a deep crisis in the relationship, where mistrust and a sense of unreliability become dominant.

Finally, such a feeling can also arise when one of the partners has not yet fully recovered from a previous breakup and, bearing an "open and bleeding wound," starts experimenting with new relationships without giving themselves the chance to fully return to a balanced emotional state. In one statement it is noted: “It often happens that before one set of bonds is resolved, experimentation with others begins. Sincerely – not for the sake of a superficial game of momentary satisfaction... while having an open and bleeding wound from the previous breakup.” (source: link txt). Unresolved past issues hinder the perception of the current partner as a reliable support, provoking constant doubts regarding their loyalty and the stability of their feelings.

Thus, the feeling of unreliability arises at moments when relationships are burdened with scorekeeping and mutual accusations, when suppressed negative emotions reach a critical mass, and when unresolved wounds from past relationships prevent full trust in each other.