Emotional Burdens: When Support Hinders Growth

In the modern world, issues of emotional support deserve close attention. Often, when parents are in a state of emotional or physical exhaustion, they may inadvertently assign the role of comforter and pillar to the child, distorting the traditional understanding of parent-child relationships. This situation deprives the child of the opportunity to experience their natural developmental stages calmly, since they are forced to take on adult functions that may later negatively impact their overall development.

In cases where a parent, suffering from loneliness or battling depression, begins to share personal problems with a teenager, there is a risk of disrupting the natural and healthy interactions between family members. Transferring emotional burdens onto the child deprives them of the chance to be themselves, becoming a barrier to full maturation and hindering the development of their own coping mechanisms in challenging life situations.

A particular danger arises when there is an excessively negative reaction to the teenager’s attempts to become independent. Such experiences can make it difficult for the teenager to seek support from their parents in the future and can leave deep emotional wounds, undermining their confidence and desire to build trusting relationships with their parents.

The conclusion is clear: emotional support is an important tool in interpersonal relationships, but when it becomes a means of solving adults' personal problems or erupts in unacceptable emotional reactions, the consequences can be destructive to the child's psychological health. A balanced approach that allows parents to remain a support while children are free to develop is key to harmonious and healthy family relationships.

In what situations can emotional support not only be beneficial but also potentially harmful?

Emotional support can become potentially harmful when its application exceeds the boundaries of normal relationships and begins to burden a child or teenager by forcing them to perform adult functions, thereby hindering their full development. For example, if a parent is emotionally or physically depleted, they may inadvertently rely on the child as a source of comfort and support. In such cases, the child is imposed with the role of an "emotional helper," which, according to the source " link txt," negatively affects their development:
"When our emotional or physical resources are depleted, we ourselves need emotional support. It is difficult to give to others when we are so drained that we can give little or nothing. When we find ourselves in such a deplorable state, it is easy to err and rely on our child to comfort us, encourage us, please us, or behave as a mature, adult person, or simply be passively obedient. All of this is not typical of a normal, healthy child. If we impose this unnatural, abnormal role on the child, they will not develop fully and holistically." (source: link txt)

Similarly, the situation is aggravated when parents experiencing loneliness, dissatisfaction, or depression turn to their children with personal problems, demanding emotional support from them, which disrupts the natural parental role. As stated in " link txt":
"Because of loneliness, dissatisfaction, depression, or other problems, single parents sometimes simply cannot relate to their teenagers as peers. They wish to entrust their personal problems to their children, who are not yet ready to comprehend them. We, as parents, whether or not we have a spouse, must always be the parental figure—a support for our teenagers. If we change this natural order of things and demand emotional support from them, we will harm them and destroy our relationships." (source: link txt)

Another situation where positive motivational support turns negative arises from an excessively volatile and repeated negative reaction by parents to a teenager’s desire for independence. Such experiences may hinder the teenager's ability to seek parental support in the future and adversely affect their emotional well-being.

Thus, when emotional support is implemented by transferring parental problems onto the child or through an overly harsh reaction to the natural stages of growing up, it can not only lose its beneficial function but also lead to long-term negative consequences for the development of the child or teenager.