Avoiding Escalation: Constructive Conflict Management
In my understanding, negative emotions arise when a dispute turns into uncontrolled escalation, characterized by excessive emotionality, personal accusations, and an ineffective pursuit of winning the conflict rather than solving the problem. For example, I find it unpleasant when participants in a discussion seem to relish quarrels and intentionally provoke each other’s emotions – such an approach, as emphasized in one of the sources, indicates deeply rooted personal difficulties: "Every person knows from childhood: conflicts should be avoided, quarrels are not good, and one should live in peace. Thankfully, very few people enjoy quarrels and seek conflicts. And if a person behaves in such a way, it is either indicative of some mental abnormalities or of very large complexes and experienced emotional traumas." (source: link txt)Furthermore, negative emotions intensify when qualities like irritability dominate the dispute – one of the two main vices capable of unsettling the soul. Such a state not only hinders constructive communication but also strengthens the desire to distance oneself from people inclined to provoke: "Two main vices usually disturb the soul – lust and irritability. Whoever the enemy manages to conquer with lust, leaves him with it, not disturbing him, or only slightly disturbing him with anger..." (source: link txt)Based on this, I prefer to avoid conflict-laden discussions with those who are inclined not only to provoke but also to seek quarrels purely for the sake of arguing. Such interactions only exacerbate tension and do not lead to constructive mutual understanding. The approach in which partners set aside personal feelings and aim to resolve differences through respectful dialogue appears far more preferable and facilitates a more productive resolution of conflicts.