Often throughout our lives, we notice that the origins of conflicts are not found in random circumstances but lie deep within our character.

Rigid Beliefs Fueling Conflict: A Path to Growth

Often throughout our lives, we notice that the origins of conflicts are not found in random circumstances but lie deep within our character. Excessive self-assurance in our own correctness, pride, and an aggressive desire to impose our opinions turn even the slightest differences into complete disasters. When our worldview becomes so rigidly fixed, any contradiction is perceived not as an opportunity for dialogue but as a personal insult that demands immediate condemnation.

Our upbringing and family traditions often contribute to shaping such an outlook, where the individual "I" always comes first. The true perception of life and relationships begins to distort: insisting on one’s own point of view becomes the norm, and any alternative opinion is met with unwavering rejection. In this context, even minor disagreements escalate into heated conflicts, allowing inner contentiousness and hidden pride to gain power that overshadows all rational arguments.

However, recognizing these mechanisms is the first step toward change. Understanding that our internal attitudes and habitual behaviors can fuel aggression opens the door to personal growth and the development of constructive dialogue. When we start to value others’ opinions and see them as opportunities for mutual enrichment rather than threats, we pave the way for harmonious relationships. The energy of conflicts can be diffused if, instead of rigidly defending our own correctness, we channel our strength toward finding common ground and developing the ability to truly listen.

Why does a person who seeks out quarrels always find a reason for conflict?

A person prone to quarrels finds reasons for conflict due to inner character traits like excessive confidence in their own correctness, pride, and an aggressive drive to impose their views. This manifests in the way any deviation in opinions is not seen as an opportunity for dialogue but as a challenge that must be denounced and condemned. For example, one source states:

"On the contrary: the bolder you are, the better. It is not entirely our fault; we were brought up that way from childhood, and not only us but our parents as well. But if we want to achieve the grace of God, we must overcome this. And we should strive to raise our children in reverence for their teachers, superiors, parents, and elders in general. Insisting on one's own will. Insistence on one's own is very common among us. We all believe that what we proclaim is the ultimate truth. But if we encounter a different opinion, we are ready to denounce and reprimand that person." (source: link txt, page: 0)

These words show that when a person is convinced their viewpoint is the absolute truth, any deviation becomes a trigger for conflict. Moreover, an important aspect is innate contentiousness, which often indicates hidden pride:

"Arguments and grievances arise... Remember—if you harbor a spirit of contentiousness within you, this is indicative of hidden pride." (source: link txt)

Thus, internal attitudes focused on constantly defending one’s own viewpoint and the need to prove one’s correctness lead a person to always find a reason for conflict. These qualities feed aggression and cause even trivial disagreements to escalate into quarrels.