Validation Quest: The Allure of Likes in Modern Society

Modern society has turned the pursuit of likes and symbols of approval into a true measure of one’s self-worth. We live in an era when even the most insignificant tokens of attention become a kind of currency for self-assertion and a confirmation of the correctness of our actions. In this dynamic environment, people often strive to gather as much external approval as possible, compensating for internal insecurity and the fear of being overlooked. It is precisely this search for social recognition that turns into an expression of vanity, when the desire to be accepted by others becomes a priority in constructing self-identity.

Behind this phenomenon lies a complex array of psychosocial factors, where the drive to accumulate symbols of approval reflects a deep mechanism of the human psyche. Even small pleasures and tokens of attention acquire enormous value, reminding us that we are all in search of confirming our uniqueness. From early childhood, when even the simplest joys outweigh objective needs, foundations are laid that later transform into an unrelenting pursuit to stockpile these “treasures” of approval.

Understanding this phenomenon helps reveal just how thin the line is between a healthy desire for recognition and an excessive dependence on external judgments. Perhaps rethinking our attitude towards symbolic tokens of attention may be the key to a more harmonious and confident life—one where inner conviction takes center stage and likes remain merely a pleasant addition to our self-perception.

How does modern society perceive the pursuit of accumulating even small symbols of approval, such as likes?

Modern society views the accumulation of even such insignificant symbols of approval, like likes, as a reflection of a deeply ingrained human need to affirm one’s own significance and a search for external validation to compensate for internal insecurity. Such behavior is seen as a manifestation of vanity, when a person, in an effort to convince themselves of the rightness of their actions and overall state, strives to collect “everyone’s approval.” In one source, this phenomenon is described as follows:

"Shostrom names the fifth reason for manipulation as the desire to obtain the approval of everyone. Approval is needed to compensate for the lack of inner confidence in the correctness of one’s actions and, generally, one’s overall state. Therefore, in interactions with people, an individual uses every possible means to achieve their approval. The Christian tradition refers to this state as vanity—the constant pursuit of a pleasant feeling of recognition, of glory from as many people as possible." (source: link , page: 118)

Moreover, the tendency to accumulate—even in such minor, symbolic actions—indicates the general mindset of modern society, where even small pleasures and tokens of attention become objects of special focus and accumulation. This is illustrated in the following excerpt:

"The overall emphasis on accumulation has already become an image of modern society. A small child refuses to defecate when needed, preferring to hold it in because he does not want to miss out on the extra pleasure of doing it on his own terms. He grows up to become miserly, a subject devoted to the accumulation of treasures; he allows no expenditure, no pleasures—everything must serve the goal of accumulation." (source: link , page: 119)

Thus, the accumulation of likes and other similar symbols of approval is perceived as an expression of the constant search for external recognition. This behavior is viewed as one of the manifestations of modern culture, where external signs of attention act as a substitute for internal insecurity and serve as an indicator of an individual’s social value.

Supporting citation(s):
"Shostrom names the fifth reason for manipulation as the desire to obtain the approval of everyone. Approval is needed to compensate for the lack of inner confidence in the correctness of one’s actions and, generally, one’s overall state. Therefore, in interactions with people, an individual uses every possible means to achieve their approval. The Christian tradition refers to this state as vanity—the constant pursuit of a pleasant feeling of recognition, of glory from as many people as possible." (source: link , page: 118)

"The overall emphasis on accumulation has already become an image of modern society. A small child refuses to defecate when needed, preferring to hold it in because he does not want to miss out on the extra pleasure of doing it on his own terms. He grows up to become miserly, a subject devoted to the accumulation of treasures; he allows no expenditure, no pleasures—everything must serve the goal of accumulation." (source: link , page: 119)