Illusion of Humility: The Cost of Submissive Behavior

Refusing imposed actions is often mistakenly interpreted as humility because an outward lack of resistance may be seen as the ability to yield calmly, while in reality, such behavior results from a completely relaxed will and an inability to control one’s desires. In other words, a person accustomed to immediately getting everything they want does not develop the skill to consciously and voluntarily reject what is imposed from outside. This isn’t true humility—which is born from inner strength and deliberate self-denial—but rather a sign of insecurity and loss of self-control.

As noted in one source:
"Due to complete relaxation: no one is capable of controlling their own will; everyone does what they want. Here lives a man—he has a wife and children, whom he loves, but suddenly a skirt passes by, and he cannot control himself. And to refuse, even voluntarily, he has never even heard of it.

And what is the result?
A piece of slime arises that cannot control itself in any way." (source: link txt)

This inability for self-restraint affects a person’s self-perception in the following way. A refusal that is mistaken for humility masks an inner contradiction—the person fails to recognize that their behavior is driven by powerlessness, not true will. This can lead to a decrease in self-esteem and a diminished sense of self-worth, as the individual finds themselves unable to actively influence their life or advocate for their own interests. Psychological studies affirm that one’s attitude toward oneself, or self-esteem, plays a crucial role in how resilient a person is in the face of life’s challenges:
"Psychologists have devoted many studies to these self-experiences. They refer to them in various ways: self-perception, self-image, self-assessment, and more commonly—self-esteem. Perhaps the most fitting term was coined by V. Satir, who described this complex and hard-to-articulate feeling as the sense of self-worth." (source: link txt)

Thus, when an outward refusal of imposed actions is mistakenly perceived as humility, it can conceal a lack of personal strength and have a negative impact on one’s self-perception. The individual may feel vulnerable and lose control over themselves, which in the long run diminishes their inner harmony and their capacity for self-improvement.

Illusion of Humility: The Cost of Submissive Behavior

And what is the result?

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