Often, the dream of independent artistic self-expression turns into an arena for fulfilling someone else’s plans.

When Dreams Serve Others: The Cost of External Expectations

Often, the dream of independent artistic self-expression turns into an arena for fulfilling someone else’s plans. At first, we are all full of fire, eager to break through and make our mark by playing an active, initiative role. Yet real life sometimes forces us to sacrifice our personal ambitions, turning us into tools to achieve foreign interests. In this dynamic, a subtle yet destructive substitution occurs: instead of following our true desire, we find ourselves trapped, with our potential and talents diverted to satisfying the insatiable ambitions of others.

Under the weight of external expectations—whether it’s excessive parental involvement in our personal lives or societal pressure—one’s individuality often comes under threat. Life begins to resemble a theater where roles are imposed from without, and the true self is lost amidst someone else’s designs. Such a situation not only takes away the opportunity for personal growth but can also leave deep psychological scars, hindering the recovery of control over one’s own life.

However, understanding this problem is the first step toward liberation. By stepping beyond emotional traps and recognizing our own worth, we can find the strength to resist the replacement of our own goals with external expectations. Only by embracing our uniqueness and boldly defying external pressures can we rediscover the true sense of self-realization and reignite the spark of our creativity.

What does the situation symbolize when a person dreams of playing as an attacker, yet ends up being used for someone else’s purposes?

The situation where a person dreams of fulfilling themselves in an active, initiative role (like playing as an attacker) but ultimately becomes an “instrument” for satisfying someone else’s interests symbolizes the loss of personal choice and a compromise with external expectations. Instead of following their true aspirations, their potential is harnessed to fulfill others' unfulfilled desires, leading to a sense of personal displacement and a loss of self-realization.

Supporting citation(s):
"Mother does this unconsciously, pushing her daughter toward relationships in which she herself would have dreamed of being. The key to this phenomenon is the mother's intrusive interest in the intimate details of the dates her daughter goes on; the mother becomes emotionally aroused when her daughter recounts everything. The destructiveness of this process is evident. A teenage girl can be pushed into situations for which she lacks the experience or maturity to handle. Pregnancy is just one possible consequence. Another frequently seen result is the loss of reputation. The condemnation from those around can severely impact a child's self-esteem and self-respect for a lifetime." (source: link txt, page: 358)

"The more we experience a sense of substitution in our relationships with our children, the more our love for them depends on how they behave (study, play, etc.—the list is endless!) and, in doing so, satisfies our insatiable (substitutive!) vanity. Let’s face the truth. All of us, to some extent, suffer from substitutive love, don’t we? For instance, last year our family discovered that our 8-year-old son is excellent at playing baseball." (source: link txt, page: 360)

In this symbolic imagery, the dream of independent, creative expression transforms into a tool for fulfilling someone else’s ambitions, reflecting the broader psychological dynamic of substituting personal goals with external expectations.