In the modern world, relationships are often influenced by unconscious patterns, where one partner begins to project onto the other the expectations typical of a familial role.

Unveiling Asymmetric Parental Projections

In the modern world, relationships are often influenced by unconscious patterns, where one partner begins to project onto the other the expectations typical of a familial role. In these situations, one person inadvertently starts perceiving their companion as a source of tenderness, care, and confidence—as if they were a parent—while the other finds themselves in the position of someone who always needs protection and warmth. This asymmetrical dynamic leads to the development of emotional dependency, intensifying potential conflicts and creating an atmosphere of jealousy and competition.

The core issue is that when a person starts referring to their childhood models of relationships and reproduces them in adult life, the quality of interaction undoubtedly deteriorates. Instead of an equal partnership, we observe a situation in which one spouse takes on the role of a caregiver, while the other becomes the recipient of care and support. Awareness and analysis of these internal mechanisms can be the first steps toward restoring balance and moving toward more mature, mutually respectful relationships.

In conclusion, it is important to note that emotional maturity requires an honest look at one’s own expectations and needs. Understanding projections that displace reality helps in creating a more harmonious union, where both partners share mutual love, respect, and readiness to support each other rather than repeating outdated scenarios from the past.

How can asymmetric emotional projections manifest in relationships when one partner begins to perceive the other as a parental figure?

When asymmetric emotional projections appear in relationships, one partner may unconsciously start transferring onto the other the expectations and feelings typically associated with a parental role. This partner may expect from their companion tenderness, care, attention, and confidence—qualities inherent to parent-child relationships. This creates an asymmetrical dynamic where one partner ends up in the role of the “caretaker” and the other in the role used to receiving care and support, leading to emotional dependency and possible conflicts. Such projections can be accompanied by feelings of jealousy or competition, as these emotional needs and expectations begin to mirror situations from childhood, in which a child, striving to earn love, imitates relationship models by perceiving the parent as the ideal embodiment of closeness and protection.

Supporting citation(s):
"Since parents are in a spousal relationship, understanding this creates in the child a need to imitate: 'You are my wife,' 'I am your husband'—for boys with respect to the mother; 'When I grow up, I will marry Dad'—for girls. This is a kind of 'family game,' when boys imagine themselves in the father's role, and girls in the mother's, simultaneously experiencing an increasingly strong feeling of love for the parent of the opposite sex. In this psychological situation, a father may temporarily even become a 'competitor' in his masculine role in relation to the mother, which can trigger a transient sense of jealousy. After all, a boy 'like a father' wants to be with his beloved mother, sleep next to her, and enjoy her attention, tenderness, and care. The same may happen with girls regarding imitating their mother, her familial role. However, in both cases, the mother remains the predominant object of emotional preference and love." (source: link txt)