The Multifaceted Journey of Self-Esteem Formation

The formation of self-esteem is a dynamic and multi-layered process that begins in early childhood and continues to evolve throughout life. Initially, everything depends on those around the child—parents and close adults play a decisive role in shaping the first perception of oneself. If a child feels supported, understood, and accepted, their inner world fills with confidence and joy. However, if the child is constantly subjected to criticism and pressure, their confidence begins to fade, and their sense of self-worth becomes fragile.

Over time, self-esteem is influenced not only by parents but also by teachers, peers, and other significant individuals. A child who experiences either a lack of attention or, conversely, abundant approval begins to form their self-perception based on the external world. In the beginning, academic success and good grades appear to be the criteria for personal significance, but later on—as the child grows older—achievements in sports, creative projects, and even the opinions of loved ones start to play an important role. It is important to note that the need to prove one’s significance often becomes a mask for inner insecurity, with the drive to meet high expectations undermining the true sense of self-worth.

Thus, establishing healthy self-esteem is a complex balance between external recognition and internal acceptance. Timely support, understanding, and harmonious communication with others help develop a stable sense of personal value that remains with an individual throughout life.

What factors influence the formation of self-esteem and the sense of personal significance?

The development of self-esteem and the sense of personal significance depends on numerous factors that begin in early childhood and continue to change with age. The primary importance lies in how close adults, especially parents, treat the child. As one author states, “The foundation of self-esteem is laid very early, in the very first years of a child's life, and depends on how the parents treat them. If they understand and accept the child, tolerating his ‘shortcomings’ and mistakes, he grows up with a positive attitude toward himself. But if the child is constantly ‘educated,’ criticized, and drilled, his self-esteem turns out to be low and deficient” (source: link ).

However, parental treatment is only one of the key factors. In childhood and adolescence, relationships with others play a significant role: “Children form their attitude toward themselves based on how those around them treat them. By neglecting a child, you consequently lower his self-esteem. If a child does not receive what he needs, he considers himself unworthy of attention” (source: link ). At the same time, the opinions of teachers, peers, and other significant figures are important. As a child grows older, the criteria for self-esteem change: initially, school marks and academic performance were paramount, but later—the opinions of peers and evaluations of personal achievements in various areas (academics, sports, etc.) gain importance. As noted: “But this tendency is not linear. One must take into account the change in self-esteem criteria with age. If in middle school a teenager is heavily influenced by the opinions of teachers and school performance plays a significant role in their self-esteem, then in high school the significance of grades decreases. Peer opinions and self-assessments of one’s achievements in various activities come to the forefront…” (source: link ).

Moreover, self-esteem is closely linked to the personal drive for self-assertion. Here, both external recognition and the internal assessment of one’s own worth are important. “The striving for self-assertion is (comparatively) a higher value than a blind pursuit of pleasure. The main motive behind this striving is to affirm the significance and value of one’s personality, one’s ‘self’ as such—in the eyes of others (vanity) or in one’s own eyes (pride)” (source: link ). Paradoxically, it is often the desire to prove one’s worth that conceals inner insecurity, and the constant effort to meet high, often unattainable, parental standards may ultimately lead to a decrease in self-esteem (see also: “Such a child cannot develop healthy self-esteem because he feels that he does not meet parental standards…” – source: link ).

Thus, the formation of self-esteem and the sense of personal significance is influenced by:
• An early self-perception shaped by the opinions and relationships with close ones (parents, family members);
• The attitudes and support from peers, teachers, and other significant individuals;
• The changing criteria of self-esteem with age, as the importance of external evaluations (such as school grades) gives way to personal achievements and the opinions of others;
• The drive for self-assertion as a way to compensate for inner insecurities, sometimes manifesting as a need for external validation of one’s value.

Supporting citation(s):
"Another important fact: the foundation of self-esteem is laid very early, in the very first years of a child's life, and depends on how the parents treat them. If they understand and accept the child, tolerating his ‘shortcomings’ and mistakes, the child grows up with a positive attitude toward himself. But if the child is constantly ‘educated,’ criticized, and drilled, his self-esteem turns out to be low and deficient. The general rule here is simple." (source: link )

"But this tendency is not linear. One must take into account the change in self-esteem criteria with age. If in middle school a teenager is heavily influenced by the opinions of teachers and school performance plays a significant role in their self-esteem, then in high school the significance of grades decreases. Peer opinions and self-assessments of one’s achievements in various activities, whether in academics, sports, or other hobbies, can vary greatly among young people. This sharply reduces the importance of grades as a stimulus for learning, while simultaneously reflecting the growth of independence, diversification of interests, etc." (source: link )

"Children form their attitude toward themselves based on how those around them treat them. By neglecting a child, you consequently lower his self-esteem. If a child does not receive what he needs, he considers himself unworthy of attention. Even when a child is not neglected, he may still feel unworthy and inadequate." (source: link )

"The striving for self-assertion is (comparatively) a higher value than a blind pursuit of pleasure. The main motive behind this striving is to affirm the significance and value of one’s personality, one’s ‘self’ as such—in the eyes of others (vanity) or in one’s own eyes (pride)." (source: link )