Sacred Ideals and the Sting of Betrayal
Each of us holds something sacred in our heart—our ideals and principles that shape our worldview. This is why any change, even in the closest relationships, can lead to a feeling of deep betrayal. What for one person seems like a chance change in views might, for another, represent a violation of a sacred connection with their inner core. High expectations of our loved ones make any deviation from established norms particularly painful. Ultimately, betrayal is defined not so much by the specific actions taken as by the violation of the inner compass we rely on to feel confident and secure. This perspective helps explain why even the slightest change in a loved one’s behavior can trigger a storm of emotions and a sense that our spiritual anchor has been betrayed.
Why might it appear that even the closest people are capable of betrayal?The perception of betrayal in relationships with even the closest people arises not only from specific actions that break trust, but also from the fact that each person has a unique idea of what constitutes the most sacred guiding principle in life. What might be seen by one as an accidental change in convictions or even an unintentional deviation from a familiar path, for another is perceived as a profound betrayal of a core aspect of their personal worldview.As noted in one source: “What happens between people is often perceived as betrayal, since everyone has their own understanding of the main sanctity of life. For some people, external events can be interpreted as treason against their faith and principles, thereby taking the form of betrayal. This inner betrayal is intensified and deepened if a person tries to justify their actions by reinterpreting their central ‘rays’, distorting them, or ‘denying’ them, or by referring to an alleged inability to perceive them, or to their supposed ‘vagueness’ and ‘ambiguity’.” (source: link txt)Another aspect lies in the high expectations inherent in close relationships. This is why even the slightest deviation from one’s personal ideals, or a change that seems not to align with the “centrally sufficient grounds,” gives rise to feelings of betrayal. Further support for this idea can be found in the assertion: “Some will ask, ‘Has he not betrayed us?’ while others will categorically declare, ‘This is outright betrayal!’” (source: link txt). In other words, the perception of betrayal is largely determined by internal expectations, which can be extremely strict and subjective.Thus, the impression that even the closest people are capable of betrayal is formed because each person regards their life ideals and sacred benchmarks as an unshakable foundation. If a close person, whether due to a whim, a change in views, or even an insignificant deviation, fails to meet these high spiritual expectations, such behavior is perceived as a betrayal of oneself, and therefore, as an act of betrayal.