In modern education, the role of elder relatives is increasingly valued as they consciously create an environment for youth to develop independently.

Guiding Without Overstepping: The Subtle Wisdom of Elders

In modern education, the role of elder relatives is increasingly valued as they consciously create an environment for youth to develop independently. In families where experience and attentiveness play a crucial role, the younger generation has the opportunity to learn from their mistakes, gaining inner maturity and taking responsibility for their own actions. This approach helps to avoid pressure and imposed models that might hinder the formation of individuality.

Historical traditions clearly demonstrate that the wisdom of elders is expressed not only through active involvement but also in the ability to step away from the daily routine at the right moment—remaining a support and source of valuable advice during critical times. This exemplary model of upbringing combines respect for independence with the careful preservation of familial wisdom, allowing the younger generation to move forward confidently while the elders remain reliable guides of insight.

Why, in some families, do elder relatives remain observers, refraining from intervening in the family affairs of the younger generations, and what wisdom can be drawn from this?

In certain families, elder relatives consciously adopt the position of observers to give the younger generation the opportunity to learn from their own experiences and take responsibility for their actions. This stance helps to avoid excessive pressure and creates room for the development of independence and inner maturity. For example, in some families, precisely because “grandfathers, grandmothers, and other relatives … may seem to the teenager even more ‘old-fashioned and entrenched’ than the parents,” the involvement of elders might be perceived as the imposition of outdated views or methods of upbringing. This is emphasized in discussions about large families, where the approach to upbringing significantly differs from that observed in more traditional family structures (source: link txt).

On the other hand, historical customs also show that the role of the elder does not always involve active intervention in daily affairs. According to ancient traditions, an elected elder would perform duties related to managing and maintaining order within the family, but his significance was predominantly evident during special circumstances rather than through everyday control (source: link txt). Such a system implies that the wisdom of elders lies in knowing when to intervene while maintaining a distance that allows the young to make their own mistakes and learn from them.

Thus, the wisdom that can be gleaned from this approach lies in respecting the independence and personal responsibility of the younger family members. The observational position of the elders ensures that young people have space for personal growth, while the experience and authority of the elders remain available in the form of advice and support during critical moments.

Supporting citation(s):
"The parents of a maturing child, as a rule, work a lot and raise their offspring in fragments, ... Grandfathers, grandmothers, and other relatives are also unlikely to help, as they might seem to the teenager even more ‘old-fashioned and obtuse’ than the parents. In contrast, in a large family, the situation is fundamentally different." (source: link txt)

"This elder is not always the physically oldest in the family; he is elected into his position by a gathering of all the relatives, ... The subsequent history of the Rurikid princely dynasty shows that in the lives of our Eastern Slavs, the same phenomena occurred: the older brother usually took the place of the father for the younger ones." (source: link txt)