Sacred Union: The Spiritual and Moral Dimensions of Marriage

In our turbulent world of change, traditional values still hold their ground, reminding us of the importance of inner discipline and self-respect. At the heart of these beliefs lies the understanding that intimacy is not merely a physical union but a profound act at the convergence of soul and flesh, where every gesture and glance is infused with inner strength and spiritual readiness for a sacred union.

In the endeavor to preserve the harmony of the soul and protect oneself from debauchery, the traditional worldview confers a special status on marriage: intimacy outside its bounds is seen as a deviation from moral guidelines—one that can weaken the will and undermine inner integrity. From this perspective, preserving virginity until marriage symbolizes not so much a limitation as a high form of self-control and a sincere commitment to preparation for truly significant relationships, where every emotion and action is directed toward affirming spiritual values.

In conclusion, marriage becomes the realm where intimacy gains its full legitimacy and transforms into an obligatory element of a strong, balanced family. Here, personal passion is transcended in favor of a harmonious union that not only perpetuates the lineage but also embodies collective moral and spiritual ideals. This approach underscores the importance of discipline, honesty, and conscious choice along the path of life—ultimately helping to build a society in which respect for the inner sanctity of each individual is the cornerstone of harmony and stability.

Why is intimacy before marriage considered debauchery while intimacy after marriage is deemed a duty, and what cultural or moral foundations support this view?

Intimacy before marriage is considered debauchery because the traditional moral and spiritual order calls for preserving chastity and the purity of the soul until the sacred union of marriage. In the traditional mindset, sexual relations are viewed not merely as physical acts but as expressions of inner spiritual discipline, meant to be reserved exclusively for one’s spouse. In other words, maintaining virginity until marriage is seen as a safeguard against debauchery and a breach of moral order, as intimacy outside marriage tends to weaken the will and open the "gates to sin."

For example, one source states:
"I also know from confession that although the debauched spirit of the times ensnares even the Orthodox, ecclesiastical young people, most of them preserve their virginity until marriage. It is very difficult to explain to modern secular youth why this is necessary. They think that the debauchery that has become the norm today was always the case. But I remember a time when it was normal for a girl to keep herself for one man, for her husband. Let us begin with what chastity is. It is wholehearted wisdom, and it consists not only in physical intactness (...), but also in a proper, holistic, unclouded view of the opposite sex, in the purity of the soul." (source: link )

Furthermore, intimacy outside of marriage is regarded as a violation of divine commandments and a spiritual error that weakens an individual:
"Debauchery is sin, lawlessness, a violation of the commandment—'fornicators … shall not inherit the Kingdom of God' (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). That is, unless they repent and cease returning to sin. When a person permits sexual relations before marriage, they violate their spiritual nature and greatly weaken their will, opening the gates to sin; they have shown weakness, making it very difficult to resist temptations." (source: link )

Conversely, after marriage intimacy becomes a duty because, within marital relations, sexual closeness is seen as a natural and regulated component of the spiritual union. Marriage is viewed as a socially and spiritually sanctioned sphere where intimacy serves to strengthen the marital bond and fulfill family responsibilities, rather than being a source of personal debauchery. Thus, the cultural and moral foundations backing this viewpoint are rooted in the preservation of the soul, in the discipline of ethical imperatives, and in the need for spiritual preparation for the sacred union—where intimacy is not an expression of mere personal passion but an act aligned with a strict code of familial, spiritual, and social obligations.