Dual Perspectives on Modern Love

In the contemporary world, love is perceived as a phenomenon with a dual nature, where personal pleasure intertwines with pragmatic considerations. At the initial stage, a partner’s attractiveness is determined not only by emotional allure but also by aesthetic perception—appearance, manners, and charm bring immediate satisfaction. In our society, one can often observe how people seek to derive pleasure from social interactions, choosing partners who conform to certain, often superficial, standards.

However, behind this emotional component lies a rational approach, where choosing a life partner becomes a kind of investment. Economic feasibility, social status, and practicality in household matters play a significant role in forming relationships. Such pragmatic choices can ensure a stable future; however, they often lead to conflicts when the initial sense of comfort gives way to disputes arising from changes in personal qualities and values.

Ultimately, the modern approach to love reflects a complex balance between the search for immediate joy and the strategic selection of conditions for a shared life. This phenomenon requires us to be mindful of our emotional experiences while engaging in rational analysis, enabling us to build relationships in which the aesthetics of feelings and the practicality of everyday life harmoniously coexist.

What Motivates Love in Modern Society?
Answer:

In modern society, the motivations underlying love often prove to be multifaceted and contradictory. On one hand, love is seen as a feeling that brings immediate pleasure, enjoyment, and aesthetic satisfaction. For example, one source notes that for modern individuals, love is not so much a deep, selfless attachment as it is the satisfaction derived from enjoying the company and external qualities of the partner:
"That is to say, we perceive love solely as a feeling that somehow gratifies and pleases us. What does it mean: 'I love her'? How does the average modern person understand it? It means I like her: she is beautiful, she is smart, caring, obedient, affectionate, diligent; she has beautiful hands, legs, ears, and eyes. In other words, her looks and her behavior bring me pleasure, so I love her."
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On the other hand, economic and social considerations play a significant role. In relationships, a rational, self-interested motivation is often evident when the choice of a partner is based not so much on emotional connection as on practical concerns—thrift, neatness, and social and material status. This allows for the creation of a family where each member gains some benefit from the union:
"For a man, a rational, self-interested reason often reduces to considering his wife solely as a 'housewife.' In this case, the wife is chosen based on her being domestic, well-organized, neat, economical, with an even-tempered and compliant character, usually young and positioned lower than the man both materially and socially. Incidentally, such an attitude toward the wife later leads to numerous conflicts, beginning when the young woman matures, becomes wiser, gains a sense of self, and ceases to be a meek lamb and an obedient housekeeper..."
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Thus, modern motives for love consist of a combination of the pursuit of immediate personal pleasure and the calculated search for beneficial conditions for creating and maintaining a family. This approach often results in true, self-sacrificing love giving way to more superficial relationships based on personal interests and benefits.