Marriage Myths and the Challenge of Expectations

In modern society, there are views that consider the symbolic presence of a husband in a woman's life as a guarantee of unchanging comfort and prosperity. Many believe that for a woman, merely having a life partner obliges him to solve all her problems, while for a man, the initiative of his wife evokes associations with the coziness of a parental home. Women's ideas about marriage are often tinged with a dream of complete stability and care, whereas a man may subconsciously expect the same warm treatment he once received from his mother. This dual system of expectations often turns relationships into a constant trial, where even the most genuine efforts to indulge each other prove insufficient to meet deep-seated needs. Ultimately, the belief that simply having a husband can ensure a happy life creates an illusion of irresponsible yet emotionally rich support—one that remains elusive in reality. This raises an important question: how can one balance expectations with actual qualities, and is the idealization of marriage worth the loss of the ability to perceive the world in all its complexity?

Why, according to some views, is it impossible to "spoil" a woman, and what expectations in relationships contribute to this?

Some opinions argue that a woman cannot be "spoiled" because, in her worldview, marriage is primarily associated with having a husband who is expected to resolve all life’s problems. According to these perspectives, a woman's expectations about marriage are often idealistic—she believes, "Finally, we will be together; I will have a husband, and I will set up my life" (source: link ). In other words, the very idea of a husband entering her life is seen as a guarantee of complete comfort and well-being, regardless of whether the man is truly capable of providing it.

At the same time, there is an opinion that many women marry solely to "have a husband," expecting him to take care of her with the nurturing care akin to parental oversight, just as his mother once did. The man, for his part, subconsciously looks forward to experiencing at home what he once enjoyed with his mother—thinking, "In my wife’s home, I will feel as good as I did with my mom" (source: link ). This two-sided set of expectations creates a situation where, even with the most attentive and indulgent treatment, truly satisfying the deep-seated needs remains out of reach. A woman who has ingrained the thought that having a husband will automatically solve all her problems never ceases to expect some ideal form of support and comfort, leaving her feelings and demands a perpetual challenge for her partner.

Thus, according to these views, relationships develop expectations in which the mere presence of a husband is considered a guarantee of well-being, resulting in any efforts at indulgence being insufficient to fully satisfy a woman’s inner needs.

Supporting citation(s):
"Perhaps the most frightening aspect is that many girls marry merely to have a husband—against all common sense, without taking responsibility for the fate of their children. A man sees marriage very differently. There is one expectation that no man would admit to, yet it is ingrained in his character and often influences married life. He thinks: 'In my wife’s home, I'll feel as comfortable as I did with my mom'..." (source: link )

"Women's expectations regarding marriage are entirely different from men's. A woman thinks something like, 'Finally, we’ll be together; I will have a husband, and I will set up my life.' Nothing else matters: I will have a husband. And now that she has one, he ‘arranges’ her life tragically. A man views marriage in an entirely different light." (source: link )