The Hidden Struggle: Unveiling the Barriers to Emotional Expression

From childhood, we are taught lessons in restraint: we are made to believe that showing pain, hurt, or fear is unacceptable, and vulnerability may lead to condemnation. Social norms and upbringing instruct us to hide our true feelings behind a mask of anger or aggression in order to avoid negative judgment and the threat of losing control. As a result, even when we are overwhelmed with emotions internally, the actual expression of these feelings becomes virtually impossible. Psychologists believe that behind every negative experience lies an unmet need, and the fear of being misunderstood or humiliated from an early age forces us to suppress any sign of weakness. Although facing our emotions may seem daunting, acknowledging and accepting these feelings is the first step toward inner liberation and harmony. Recognizing our vulnerability paves the way for deeper self-awareness and healthy emotional expression—true strength comes from being honest with ourselves.

Why do we sometimes find it impossible to express our emotions, even when we feel the need to cry?
We often cannot openly express our emotions, even when we feel the urge to cry, because certain patterns of restraint are ingrained in us through our upbringing and psychological experiences. As explained in one source, "In childhood, we are frequently taught to hide our feelings of hurt and pain. We might bury experiences of pain, hurt, fear, or frustration under feelings of anger and aggression, which are seen as the causes of these destructive emotions. Note that all feelings in this second layer are imbued with suffering: they contain a greater or lesser degree of pain. Therefore, they are hard to express, usually left unspoken and hidden" (source: 79_393.txt). This indicates that people develop a habit of suppressing weakness, fearing that showing true vulnerability might lead to humiliation or a loss of control.

Similarly, psychologists emphasize that "the cause of pain, fear, and hurt lies in unmet needs. This dissatisfaction can lead a person to be unable to express their emotions. Note that all feelings in this second layer are imbued with suffering: they contain a greater or lesser degree of pain. Therefore, they are hard to articulate, usually left unspoken and hidden. Why? Generally because of the fear of being humiliated or appearing weak" (source: 79_393.txt). In other words, the fear of being ridiculed or misunderstood is instilled from an early age, when we are taught not to show weakness—such as expressing negative feelings through tears or other signs of vulnerability.

Thus, the combination of social norms, upbringing, and personal psychological experiences leads to situations where, in critical moments, individuals may not allow themselves to release their feelings even when there is an overwhelming internal need to express pain or sadness. This explains the difficulty of openly and directly expressing emotions like crying when it seems internally necessary.

Supporting citation(s):
"One explanation for why we sometimes cannot express our emotions, even if we feel the need to cry, is linked to the idea that in childhood we are often taught to hide our feelings of hurt and pain. We might bury experiences of pain, hurt, fear, or frustration under feelings of anger and aggression, which are seen as the causes of these destructive emotions. Note that all feelings in this second layer are imbued with suffering: they contain a greater or lesser degree of pain. Therefore, they are hard to articulate, usually left unspoken and hidden." (source: 79_393.txt)

"Psychologists provide a clear answer: the origin of pain, fear, and hurt lies in unmet needs. This dissatisfaction can lead a person to be unable to express their emotions. Note that all feelings in this second layer are imbued with suffering: they contain a greater or lesser degree of pain. Therefore, they are hard to articulate, usually left unspoken and hidden. Why? Generally because of the fear of being humiliated or appearing weak." (source: 79_393.txt)