Trapped by Prestige: Balancing Parental Expectations and Personal Identity

We live in an era where high standards and parental ambitions often shape the path their offspring takes. At the heart of this phenomenon lies a pursuit of prestige that, instead of inspiring, sometimes suppresses a child’s personal quest and eliminates the opportunity to discover their unique essence. The parental belief that success is measured by the status of one’s chosen profession turns talent and natural inclinations into tools for fulfilling someone else’s plans, robbing the young person of a sense of individuality. This situation becomes truly tragic when internal aspirations and personal journeys are overshadowed by an imposed role, leading to inner conflict in both the child and the family. When parents focus solely on high-quality education and prestigious specializations, they risk missing what truly matters—the development of personality and the ability to be an interesting, well-rounded individual. After all, true value lies in who we are, not in the role dictated by societal or parental standards. Thus, finding a balance between parental expectations and pursuing one’s own path is key to building a healthy, fulfilling life where every unique trait becomes a source of satisfaction and success.

How do the expectations of highly educated parents correlate with the career choices of their children, and can such a mismatch be seen as a tragedy?

Highly educated parents often impose expectations related to obtaining a prestigious specialization on their children, which can lead to children being steered toward a profession chosen not out of personal desire but solely to satisfy parental plans. One source emphasizes:
"Marina Tsvetaeva in the article 'Art in the Light of Conscience' said: 'Being a human is more important because it is more necessary.' This is an axiom. In society, there exists a kind of head-on collision of professions, with many believing that being an opera singer is happiness, while being a janitor is a life tragedy. Only a worldly person seeking a career, who cares more about the profession than about being a person, could say so. That’s the problem. Perhaps the most tragic situation is when a young person not only 'becomes a profession' chosen by themselves, but ends up in a profession chosen for them by their parents." (source: link )

It follows that when parental expectations force a profession on a child, the child is deprived of the opportunity to showcase their talents and find a unique path. Such an imposed match between parental ideals and the choice of a professional path often leads not so much to failure in attaining higher education, but to a loss of the sense of self and satisfaction in one’s activities. Additionally, it is noted that "Mothers usually think that the most important thing is for their children to acquire prestigious specializations… This is a mistake." (source: link )

Thus, it can be argued that the mismatch between high parental expectations and an independent choice of career can indeed be regarded as a personal tragedy, as it causes a rupture between the inner aspirations of the child and the imposed societal role. This mismatch not only limits opportunities for self-determination but also often affects the emotional well-being of both the child and the entire family.

Supporting citation(s):
"Marina Tsvetaeva in the article 'Art in the Light of Conscience' said: ... Perhaps the most tragic situation is when a young person not only 'becomes a profession' chosen by themselves, but ends up in a profession chosen for them by their parents." (source: link )

"Mothers usually think that the most important thing is for their children to acquire prestigious specializations. There’s no need to force 'high' science and other professions head-on. The main thing is how we execute it. It matters not what the child will be, but what kind they are. That’s where we should start. And yet, they start with the profession. That is a mistake." (source: link )