Navigating the Complexities of Parental Rejection

In modern society, the refusal of a child is no longer a clear-cut phenomenon but rather a whole set of internal experiences and external circumstances. At the root of such behavior is often emotional tension, which parents frequently try to relieve by criticizing and distancing themselves from their children. Extremely painful inner conflicts and the need to express indignation become the reason why adults may channel their negative emotions not into self-analysis but directly onto the child, thereby disrupting the natural mutual understanding within the family.

It is equally important to note that personal crises and the pursuit of independence often force parents to reconsider their own place in life. When a feeling of dissatisfaction with one’s own existence becomes overwhelming, members of the family start perceiving their offspring not as a continuation and support but as a potential obstacle on the path to a new, freer life. It should be understood that such shifts in self-perception can evolve into alienation and even a refusal to actively participate in a child’s upbringing.

Social changes also have a significant impact on the dynamics of modern families. Traditional values give way to new modifications of family roles where professional pursuits, changing expectations, and financial priorities can overshadow parental responsibilities. These altered realities compel many parents to focus on their own plans and ambitions, ultimately affecting their emotional connection with their children, who may perceive this as detachment and selfishness.

In summary, the act of rejecting a child is portrayed as a consequence of complex internal experiences combined with external life changes. When emotions take over and personal crises, along with social dynamics, prompt rethinking of one’s priorities, parental love risks being undermined. This phenomenon calls for not only deep self-analysis but also a public dialogue on reforming family values to achieve a balance between personal needs and responsibility toward the future of the family.

Which social or psychological factors can lead parents to reject their children?

Parental rejection of a child can have multifaceted causes, linked both to internal psychological processes and external social circumstances.

From a psychological standpoint, the primary factor is the emotional redirection of negative feelings. For instance, one source notes that parents may use rejection as a covert way to discharge their anger and powerlessness:
"Rejection can be a fully justified method of disciplining a child, but it can also be an expression of anger. … We, as parents, must remember that nitpicking is also a covert way to unleash our anger on the child." (source: link , page: 623)
Such behavior indicates an inability to handle internal conflicts and to manage emotional tension, which can eventually escalate into rejecting the child as a means of self-assertion or as a defense for one’s inner self.

Furthermore, personality crises, disappointment in one’s own life, and the desire for freedom can lead parents to distance themselves from their children, effectively rejecting them. This is illustrated by the example of a mother, enduring a period of discord following her divorce, who felt an intense yearning for complete freedom and independence, which resulted in strict limitations imposed on her daughter:
"… I achieved the desired freedom." (source: link , page: 148)
Here, an inner feeling of dissatisfaction with oneself and the pursuit of a "new life" often become the reasons why a parent stops recognizing the child as a full participant in family relations, instead viewing them as an obstacle to personal fulfillment.

On the social side, changes in the structure and values of the modern family can also influence the rejection of children. One text describes shifts in family roles and values in detail:
"Let us consider some of the factors characterizing the causes of this: … the changing role of women in the modern family, parental engagement in work, differences in parenting systems, and also the stratification of the population by the degree of material well-being." (source: link , page: 1133)
Such changes lead to more fragmented family relationships, where personal ambitions and aspirations often overshadow the needs of the child, which can ultimately be perceived as a form of rejection.

Finally, parental selfishness—as manifested in the unwillingness to assume responsibility for the upbringing and future of a child—is also a significant factor. As noted in one source:
"One of the main reasons for the decline in birth rate is parental selfishness. Many marriages fall apart because one of the parents categorically did not want to have a child." (source: link , page: 837)
This emphasizes that the drive to satisfy one’s own needs and preserve personal space can lead to a refusal to provide full care and involvement in the child’s life, which may be seen as rejection.

Thus, parents may reject their children when they face internal emotional instability, an inability to manage their own feelings, personality crises, and growing selfishness—factors that are further aggravated by modern social changes affecting the structure and values of family relationships.

Supporting citation(s):
"Rejection can be a fully justified method of disciplining a child, but it can also be an expression of anger. … We, as parents, must remember that nitpicking is also a covert way to unleash our anger on the child." (source: link , page: 623)
"Let us consider some of the factors characterizing the causes of this: … the changing role of women in the modern family, parental engagement in work, differences in parenting systems, and also the stratification of the population by the degree of material well-being." (source: link , page: 1133)
"… I achieved the desired freedom." (source: link , page: 148)
"One of the main reasons for the decline in birth rate is parental selfishness. Many marriages fall apart because one of the parents categorically did not want to have a child." (source: link , page: 837)