Unpacking the Four Types of Psychological Projection: Rare Insights from Psychoanalysis

In this world of dazzling filters and endless thumbs-ups, it’s all too easy to lose sight of how vital genuine honesty can be. But how do we stay true to ourselves when the race for approval and “hearts” never slows down? My distant relative Otto’s story might just offer a clue or two.

Once upon a time, in a kingdom ruled by wild Insta-filters, there lived—so my cousin would tell it—this very Otto, whose outward glow seemed bright enough to light up the morning itself. He dreamed of becoming the planet’s most irresistible charmer, scooping up every like in the vast domain of the “Royal Feed.” Yet, according to my aunt, a tempest raged under that shining surface: dissatisfaction, grumbling, and hurt swept through him like wild waves, threatening to wash away everything in their path. It was as if some untamed steed within him kept bucking, and Otto clung on for dear life, determined not to be thrown.

To charm everyone around him, Otto handed out compliments so often and so lavishly that it became uncomfortably awkward, rather like my blogger neighbor who affectionately calls a random fly kitty-cat. Flower shops nearly withered under his syrupy cheer, and townspeople quietly remarked on his Hollywood smile while sensing something peculiar in his gaze, akin to a cat caught pilfering sausage. In truth, Otto was merely hiding the weed-choked patch of his worries under a thick layer of sugary glaze, presenting the whole concoction as a rainbow-colored spectacle.

In his quest for endless likes, Otto became obsessed with so-called life hacks. He dashed around the local mall in such frenzied circles that even the horses at the racetrack gawked in bewilderment, silently wondering who on earth he was racing. He tried to copy the most regal gestures from every celebrity in sight—maybe the duke’s uncle, or possibly his cat; it was anybody’s guess. But no trick seemed to help. The moment Otto attempted to whisper, “I’m so nervous…,” a thunderous “A-choo!!!” overtook him. Bystanders scattered, hastily checking if it was time to cower behind the nearest column, hankies at the ready.

One day, Otto decided he was done tiptoeing around and would finally speak his mind. But the instant he opened his mouth—“All right, everyone, I… A-choo!”—caps shot into the air as if launched by some secret signal, and pigeons muttered suspiciously, “Cover up that nose, sneezing friend!” Watching the uproar, Otto suddenly realized his polite grin was nothing more than a flimsy “story” with pristine filters, hiding the real feelings he’d kept locked away.

A group of friends, among them my quiz-obsessed cousin, came over to Otto and urged him to drop the polished act. If he needed to sneeze, they said, just let it out—after all, that was far more honest than blanketing everyone in fake compliments.

Right then, Otto realized how draining it was to broadcast nonstop cheer and how it robbed people of any chance to see his true self. He also discovered that those around him were perfectly ready to accept his grumpy streak, and that a loud “Achoo!” could spark more genuine smiles than a hundred sugary pleasantries ever could.

So Otto stopped spreading that syrupy cheer and learned to say, “Yes, I get angry, and sometimes I gripe—so what?” Much to his surprise, his friends and family drew even closer. They began to trust his words more, since he no longer felt the need to pretty himself up at every turn. Over time, Otto noticed fewer unspoken tensions in his relationships, and he felt more confident without the constant fear of appearing anything less than perfect.

Remember sneezing Otto the next time you reach for a glamorous filter. Sometimes a simple confession (today I feel like a sock after a long run) resonates better than a polite everything’s fine, thanks uttered on autopilot. Your loud Atishoo might reveal more honesty than a hundred superficial likes. Drop the filters, even if just for a moment, and see how much more precious your genuine self is than any spotless façade.

A handful of easy tips for anyone who, like Otto, longs to set aside the polite façade and let their true self shine:
• Establish social media boundaries: carve out a "digital pause" to hear your own thoughts.
• Publish at least one post without filters: you’ll see that real life often shines just fine without any retouching.
• Speak openly about your feelings: honor your tiredness, frustration, or fear before attempting to mask them with another perfectly curated story.
• Find a trusted person or support circle where you can be completely yourself: once you’re seen for who you truly are, the race for likes starts to fade into the background.

Put all these ideas into practice, and you just might realize that the clarity of your genuine voice outshines any “photoshopped” hello.